esexist: yeah there are a lot of fish in the sea but how many have low standards
crispyweave: do she got a booty? she dooooooooooooooo
I no longer give a fuck, well, I do, but fuck it.
rabioheab: i can’t wait until the days when we’re all old and the stereotype is that old people like rap and dubstep
peevesies: i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life
pizza: *uses snapchat text bar to cover double chin*
hitlervevo: why the fuck cant we text the police lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
No Harvard graduate has ever solved this riddle....
xuelordaabeast: adamusprime: I am ill, I am real, I might got a deal. I pop bottles and I have the right kind of build. I am cold, I am dope, I might sell coke. I’m always in the air, but I never fly coach. What am I? I’m a mother fucken trip trip.